Nicole L.V. Mullis: Hubba Bubba blues - Battle Creek Enquirer

I come from a long line of stress-buckets. It's not all bad. Stress has made me a deadline-driven writer, a college graduate with honors, a multi-tasking mama and a coffee connoisseur. It's also given me regular heartburn and, recently, a jaw that wouldn't open.

I love gum. Gum not only freshens the breath, it satisfies a stress-bucket's underlying desire to be in constant motion. Plus, it's cheaper, healthier and more socially acceptable than smoking.

The only school policy I regularly violated as a kid was over gum. In fact, I remember chewing gum in class while writing "I will not chew gum in class" 150 times on the chalkboard.

I keep gum in my desk, my purse, my pockets and my car. When I'm not nursing a cup of coffee, I'm jawing away on a piece of gum. I've even spit out gum only to replace it with more gum.

I also grind my teeth at night - sort of like chewing gum without the gum. Many dental professionals have pointed it out to me. They say it's stress-related. They say my gum habit and grinding problem are taking a toll on my jaw and fillings. They say if I don't chill out, there will be crowns and root canals in my future.

I believe them but what can I do? I can't control what my jaw does when I'm sleeping. And, well, I like gum. This is good for Dentyne and not so good for my dental work. I already have a crown, which has already fallen off and I can feel it making a second bid for freedom. I figured I was a hopeless case. Then, I got sick.

This virus flattened me, setting my joints on fire. The worst was my jaw. I had grown accustom to it being stiff, even clicking, but this was different. I struggled to open my mouth wide enough to take my antibiotics. I ate baby-sized bites of baby-type foods and had nothing hard or crunchy.

I still chewed gum. I know it was wrong but I was stressed. Besides, it didn't last long. I could only bear the pain for a few minutes.

After 10 days of antibiotics, I felt better everywhere but my jaw. It still hurt. Not only was I scared, I was sick of slurping soup.

I called the medical folks. They said since my jaw was inflamed before the illness, it would take longer to return to normal - well, whatever was "normal" for me. They suggested anti-inflammatories, warm compresses and relaxing.

Relaxing?

Didn't these people know I had been sick? I had 14 days of backlogged work on my plate.

I also had applesauce on my plate.

I was hungry. Bacon-double-cheeseburger hungry.

I emptied all my gum hidey-holes, giving them to my children and husband. I sat in traffic, mouth still, secretly loathing my family's healthy jaws. I worked at my desk, teeth unclenched, typing with unnecessary roughness. I sat through my daughter's soccer game, more conscious of the gum-chewing kid next to me than the score. I tried pretzels, Life Savers, Tic Tacs. Nothing worked. I was pathetic.

I was also better. I could move my jaw without pain or audible clicking. I had my bacon double-cheese burger and it was delicious.

Still, I miss my Hubba Bubba.

Nicole L. V. Mullis can be reached at nlvm.columns@gmail.com

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